Saturday, July 23, 2011

One Sentence Reviews: LA Noire

Although this game has been out for a while I just got it and would like to review it.
Dear Rockstar, please make more games like this! Must have.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

One Sentence Reviews: Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D

I'm back! Once again, I can't apologize enough for my absence. To be honest, a lot of shit came up all at once and I had to flee from the internet for a while to sort everything out. Now I'm back and hopefully can get this blog up and running again.
Let's start up with Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D, shall we?
It looks like Capcom decided to cash in on a decent mini-game from an older game, but it's one of the better-looking 3DS games on the market. Worth a shot.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

One Sentence Reviews: Duke Nukem Forever

As long as you don't take the game too seriously, It's fun; The Duke Nukem series was never intended to be serious. Worth a shot.

 (Side Note: There was one thing that really annoyed me. When you're looking at Duke in a mirror and jump, Duke's upper body doesn't move. AT ALL. It's creepy, but is reminiscent of those classic multiplayer PC shooters.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Time For a new segment.

In order to keep constant updates, I've decided to add this new segment. One sentence reviews. These will be for current releases. As the title states, I'll convey my opinion of a current game in one sentence. If needed, I'll use a semi-colon; they are very useful if you know how to use them properly. I'll also keep the rating system I use for the other review: Must have, Worth a shot, or Avoid.
Alright. Up first: Brink
Brink is a terrible, $60 rip-off of Team-Fortress 2. Avoid

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Woah, I'm not dead.

Hey guys,
Sorry I haven't been posting much. The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening hit the 3DS Virtual Console and I've playing it nonstop. It was one of my first Game Boy games; I never realized how many memories are linked to that game. If you have a 3DS, get it. It's the best handheld Zelda title out there. The Turok review will be out hopefully soon. It all depends on when I get a break from work.
In the meantime, what else would you guys like to see on this blog?

Saturday, June 4, 2011

AGIP 02: Pilotwings 64

Hey guys,

I'm terribly sorry this is late. I finally received a new n64! I should be updating more often now.
This review also lacks pictures. Sorry about that also. The next review should have pictures.

When I purchased my 3DS, I bought two games to hold me over until Zelda Oot 3D. One of these games was Pilotwings Resort. After playing the game for a while I was joking around with a friend and said, “It’s just a glorified tech demo. I wonder if Nintendo will make this game for every new system from now on?” Turns out I was twenty years late with that statement. I never knew there was Pilotwings for the SNES nor Pilotwings 64. Each game has been a launch game so far; are they just overpriced demos or decent games? Today I’ll be looking at Pilotwings 64 to answer this question.

Right off the bat, I’ve mixed feelings about the game. There are six different characters (all are named after birds and don’t affect the gameplay) and 24 levels to choose from, plus four free-roaming states. The courses either have you fly through rings, shoot stuff, or take pictures. I finished every course in a couple sittings, but my scores were low on the later courses. The stages vary from a tropical island to a scaled down USA. I really enjoy the free-roaming options. there are many easter eggs to be found. On the other hand, it’s really just a mediocre flight sim.

Not real much to say here. There are four different flying modes: Hang Glider, Rocket Belt, Gyrocopter, and Birdman. Each variant has similar controls and are easy to learn, but everything is stiff. Good luck with some of the expert turns on the later courses.

The music is not that bad. I’ve read some reviews that compare it to porn music, but it’s that classy, high-brow porn music. The kind of music that would be in a movie that you would keep on a shelf with all your other movies. It’s good atmosphere music. None of the songs are memorable, but the remind me of the Mario Kart 64 soundtrack.

There isn’t.

This game was designed to be replayed again and again. As stated before, it didn’t take me long to complete all the courses, but my scores sucked. It’s a much longer and challenging game if you try to get a perfect score. The later levels are brutal, so you’re in for a good fight.

To conclude this review, Pilotwings 64 is really just a tech demo. I’ve never been a fan of flight simulators, but there’s really nothing that makes this game stand out.

Screw that stupid point system I used last review. It’s dumb and doesn’t work for all genres. From now on, I’ll just tell you guys one of three things: avoid, worth a shot, or must have. That’s much easier than a bullshit point system.

VERDICT: Worth a shot.
The game isn’t on the Virtual Console yet, but it’s cheap on online auction sites. If you like flight sims you might like this.

Next time, I find the level 2 key before the level 1 key.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Hey guys,

I just want to thank you awesome people again for following my blog! The next review is going to take a bit longer than expected. As stated in a previous post, my N64 keeps randomly resetting. I've taken it apart and deep-cleaned every contact on the system, but it still doesn't work. I'm trying to get my hands on another console, but this could take a day or six. I might try an emulator, but I lack a controller to my computer. Oh well, I'll figure something out!

In the meantime, I'll just leave a picture of my cat here. His name is Stray.
He's quite large. Hehehe
Alright guys! Thanks for reading! 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

A Guy in Plaid: Super Mario 64.

(( So here it is: My first review. I hope you guys enjoy! Feedback on how to make this better would be appreciated! :D ))

      The Nintendo 64. Although it was the last fifth-generation console to hit the market, it’s superior hardware made it a force to be reckoned with. In it’s six year lifespan about 33 million consoles were sold with a solid library of games. In total, 387 games were released, 84 of these games were exclusive to Japan, 47 to North America, and only 4 in Europe. There are two launch titles that were released in every region. Pilotwings 64 and Super Mario 64. This review is about the latter.

      If you haven’t played Super Mario 64, where have you been all this time? In my opinion, Super Mario 64 is the best 3D platformer out there and by far the greatest Mario title in the franchise.

It’s okay Super Mario World, you were good too.

Alright. Let’s get to the actual review stuff:

The Story: 
      Much like any other Mario game, there’s a very basic story only there to unify the game. It starts with a letter from Princess Peach inviting Mario to come over to the castle to eat a cake she made for him. We then see a warp pipe appear in the castle courtyard and Mario jumping out. The player is now able to take control of Mario and start the game.

Full 3D? Now we’re playing with power!
      Upon entering the castle, Mario finds out that Bowser has trapped Peach and the other castle inhabitants inside paintings with the use of the 120 Power Stars, now being guarded by his minions which are also in the paintings. Mario has to recover the Power Stars scattered through 15 unique worlds in order to defeat Bowser and save Peach.

The Controls:
      One of the main reasons Super Mario 64 is a good game is because its amazing controls. The control stick moves Mario, the A button is used for jumping, B for attacking, Z (L on Virtual Console) for crouching, and the C buttons to adjust the camera. Our pudgy plumber has learned a couple of new moves since his 2D days which can be preformed by pressing A, B, or Z in certain combinations. Mario can now preform backflips, crawl, long jump, wall jump, and even breakdance (though, I don’t ever find it useful to break it down in the middle of a battle).
Who needs to stomp enemies when you can just serve them?
      The one problem everyone tends to have is with the camera. Our cameraman for the adventure, a friendly Lakitu, thinks he knows what camera angle the player wants. This means that any time Mario faces a different direction, the camera shifts. We can change it back, but once you start moving, Lakitu disregards our suggestion and starts moving the camera again. Personally, I was never bothered by this. Usually, Lakitu is trying to help us see something. Most of the time, the camera is changing so we can see the next part of the stage. If you get used to this minor flaw, you’ll eventually forget about it.
 You’re the reason this was never guaranteed a perfect score. I hope you’re proud.

The Gameplay: 
      Super Mario 64 is polished to a shine. Everything is super smooth. Princess Peach’s Castle acts as a hub level. It’s a pretty awesome hub level if you ask me. There are tons of secrets inside and outside the castle. The hub level almost as much fun as the missions!

This place is huggggggggggggeeeeeeee!

      In total, there are 15 unique worlds, plus bonus levels. In each world, there are 6 missions plus the 100 coin star. One moment you could be in a pyramid, the next could be on a flying ship. The non-linear gameplay makes every playthrough different and enjoyable. For the longest time I did not know that I was supposed to go to the Boo world before going to the basement worlds. All the levels are similar in difficulty depending on which part of the castle you’re in. The game doesn’t penalize you for exploring the castle. In fact, The game wants you to  explore. Throughout Mario’s journey, he’ll find hidden areas that activate cap boxes. These caps are vital if you’re trying to get all the stars, but are easy to miss if you don’t explore.
The Music: 
      Koji Kondo does an excellent job with all the music in the game. All the new tracks are beautiful and catchy; plus there are many classic Mario songs remixed in unique ways that sound new and nostalgic at the same time. Who would have thought that the Underground Theme would sound so cool as a jazz piece?

I LOVE this song.

      While collecting 120 Power Stars may sound like a chore, each mission is unique enough that you don’t get bored easily. I’ve played through the game 4 times and have fully enjoyed each playthrough just as much as the first time I played it. Some missions get quite annoying. But with 120 missions to select from, it’s easy to skip one and move along.
      To conclude this review, if you haven’t played Super Mario 64, you should. This is one of those games that everyone should play. It’s a major piece of gaming history. This is one of the best games on the N64 and by far the best launch title ever released. The game has aged well and is better than some of the shit being released today.

I guess I should come up with some sort of rating system. here’s how I’ll judge the games:
Gameplay and Replayability will be most important.
Controls after those.
Story and Music next.
Graphics are least important. Unless they’re super good or downright garbage will I mention this in a review.
Each Category can be awarded a maximum of 4 points.

The Judging:
Gameplay: 3
Replayability: 4
Story: 3
Music: 4
Graphics: 4
TOTAL: 18/20

Next time: I feel as if I’m flying a real plane, because that’s what Shigeru Miyamoto said.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Quick Update! 50 Followers

I'm taking a break from writing the first review to say thank you to all my followers! Here's to fifty more!
I just bought Pilotwings 64 and Turok: Dinosaur Hunter on Ebay. Can't wait to play them!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Time to embark on a crazy journey!

I guess I'll start reviewing N64 games, but I have a few questions for you guys!
1: What medium should I use to review: Text or film?
This will determine how often I post a review. I can write up and update more often, but the reviews  could get long and boring. Videos would take a bit longer to make, but would hopefully be more interesting. I could always do a mix, which leads to the next question.
2: Do you have any requests?
I'd like to know what you awesome people want me to play and review. If I end up doing a Video/Text mix, the most requested games could be the videos, or something like that.
3: What game should I start with?
I was thinking about starting with the launch titles: Super Mario 64, Pilotwings 64, Saikyo Habu Shogi, Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire, and Turok: Dinosaur Hunter. Obviously, this could change.
I'd like to hear your thoughts! Thanks for following! :D

Sunday, May 15, 2011

So I've been thinking...

Posting my opinions is cool and all, but I kind of need something else to the blog. I was thinking about reviewing old N64 games. My goal would be to try and review every game out there. It would be quite difficult; there are 387 games for the console and I have maybe 20.
What do you guys think? Is it a good idea? if so, what sort of order should I review them in and what should I start with?

Saturday, May 14, 2011

What Happened to Respect?

I noticed this a while ago. On news broadcasts, why to reporters and anchors refer to our President as "Mr. Obama"? That's so disrespectful. Was it ever "Mr. Bush" or "Mr. Clinton"? NO! He's our President. He deserves that title then. I don't care if you love him or hate him, give the man some respect.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Nintendo sixty-fourrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

I recently obtained a Japanese copy of Ocarina of Time. I popped the cart in and after five minutes of gameplay, the fucker reset! Then the console had a resetting seizure for a good two minutes. It would have probably been longer if I hadn't turned the console off. Searching on Google yields no help; it's anything from over heating to a bad power cord. I don't think it's the cord because I was using the cord this past new years with a different console.

So, anyone who crosses this blog: do you have any ideas on how to fix this?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Bin Laden's dead.

If you don't live in the US, your country's evening news probably had a 2-5 minute segment stating Osama Bin Laden was killed, then it jumped to a picture of some fat rednecks drunk as hell waving american flags like idiots. It's pretty much the same picture here, but the news companies here are still dwelling on the topic.
I've heard people say that the war in Iraq was worth killing this man.
Wait, what?!
What does the war in Iraq have to do with him???

Monday, May 2, 2011


Thanks for visiting my blog. I'll be posting more here when I get my computer back, but for now a welcoming statement should be fine. I'm thinking that I'll state my opinion on random topics with a total bias for this blog. Other than that, I'll post pictures I like.
Happy reading!